The Key to Personality is in the Palm of your Hand!

Don't be Dumb about your Thumb!

or

Why are You Staring at my Hand?

The thumb will show a person’s drive and how they apply that. Look carefully. There are two sections, the top which shows willpower and the bottom which shows just how much you will push to get what you want. Large thumbs show a strong personality and a tendency to hitchhike.
Small thumbs show the person is more gentle. Long, broad thumbs belong to people who push hard and succeed. They love conspiracy theories and believe everyone is out to get them. In their case they are right. If you see a long broad thumbed person it is best to hurt them immediately.
Long, narrow thumbs belong to people who want to succeed but don't have the driving force. Small, broad thumbs belong to small broads who lack determination. Very long, very clean, and wet thumbs indicates that thumb sucking has probably persisted into adulthood.
Thumbs that have an exceptionally wide top belong to aggressive and nasty people. If the top is very narrow it indicates a sign of weakness. You can probably take advantage of these people without much trouble.
A thick top joint shows a person who is blunt. The tapered tip shows a subtle way of doing things. No joint at all means many bar fights.
A thumb that holds itself close to the side of the hand shows a stingy person. Never ask such a person for a paper clip unless you intend to return it. A thumb that sticks out indicates a carfree personality. Being carfree they will not hesitate to hitchhike.

Index Finger:
A long index finger shows self confidence but little awareness of body odor. The owner is sure of their ability, extremely rude and proud, and isn’t afraid to point. They have a predilection for artichokes.
People with this finger are keen on advancement. They like to be in charge and have their own way. They have special abilities in the field of keyboarding. They make excellent typists but at other things they are hopelessly incompetent. Never, NEVER put these people in positions of responsibility.
People with prominent forefingers are capable and do well being in charge of a crisis situation. Finger odor however is a clue to personal hygiene or nasty habits. Don’t put people with lots of finger odor in charge of cooking. If you must touch such people use a hand sanitizer or non-latex gloves.
For people with a short index finger the reverse holds true. They are usually shy, female, quite sanitary, afraid they will fail and inclined to have self doubt. They are excellent cooks however. They always hate booger jokes. People with a curved index finger are collectors and often have many hobbies such as cleaning their nasal passages in public.

Middle Finger:
If the middle finger is long it indicates a person who treats life very seriously. They believe strongly in getting ahead of other drivers and are unafraid to express themselves with rude gestures. They have an unusual aptitude for this. People with short middle fingers are careless and generally prefer not to work. As a result they are often unemployed and short of funds. They are polite and are afraid they will make people laugh if they reveal their presence.
Most people tend to have a middle sized middle finger, meaning they are somewhere in between. Some of them may be malevolent lunatics and some of them are the salt of the earth. You can never tell with such people. .

Ring Finger:
If the ring finger is long the person will have a creative nature.
They will do well in the fields of oil exploration or insurance adjusting. They should be discouraged from going into any other endeavor.
Sometimes this long ring finger is associated with people who have a gambling problem. Notice if they have any rings at all. A lack of rings in the married indicates habitual infidelity or maybe their jewelry has been hocked already. In the unmarried it may mean they are the emotional opposites of Sammy Davis Jr. or Liberace. They don't sing, and they don't tap dance worth a damn. It may also mean that they are safety conscious and operate power machinery. Many suffer trauma trying to remove rings or have lost them in poker games.
Short ring fingers are extremely rare. Check carefully to make sure they aren't fake. Toupees do not work for such people, but combovers work unusually well.

Little Finger:
People with long little fingers have a high I.Q. and are as smart as a whip. They make good writers and speakers and have a strong sex drive. Their strong sex drive tends however to disengage the brain so they will often do incredibly dumb things involving their sexual organs.
A short little finger reveals emotional immaturity or an unfortunate accident in early life. They are not quite as smart as overcooked spaghetti and are more usually dumber than dirt. Either that or the short-fingered person has tended to borrow money from loan sharks and forgets to pay it back.
If the little finger is low set it indicates the person as a child had a problem with one of their parents. In some cases it indicates they were a victim of child abuse, especially if it is missing and they have no history with loan sharks.
If the little finger sticks out from the hand it may indicate the person is involved in a relationship they do not want to be in. Either that or they are in a relationship their partner doesn't want to be in. On the other hand they may just both want to be in the relationship. Maybe you should just ask instead of checking their stupid hands.

One more thing:
If the middle and the ring finger easily separate, bear in mind the person may be giving you the Vulcan blessing. Accept such blessings or you may find yourself vulcanized.
Your brain will then turn to rubber and you will be easily tired.