about the photograph (Hannibal, MO)

I grew up in Hannibal Missouri, which is still an interesting town, but it has changed drastically since I was a boy. My family arrived in 1960, when my Dad started his practice in town as an OB/GYN. At least that was the rumor. I never actually saw him on the job, though his apparent command of female problems was impressive. He kept getting up at all hours of the night to "deliver" a baby. As a small child I had a mental picture of him driving around knocking on doors and asking whether they ordered one with pepperoni or extra cheese.
Anyway with all that delivering, Dad seemed to suffer perpetually from sleep deprivation.

I learned to develop film when I was about 14 and went around the town taking pictures. Lacking transportation I was restricted to places near to home such as this one, termed "lovers leap". It is probably not the only one, but in this local legend star-crossed lovers both meet their demise in the river. The lady in question sees her true love killed in a naval action on the river, and despairing then leaps to her death in the river. Since that time, obviously the river has moved. Otherwise she must have gotten a tremendous running start. Or, perhaps she was launched from a catapult. In any case, it was a spectacular way to show your love.

Others less lovesick but needing to drain their bladder and intoxicated (and thus fatally lacking in balance) have periodically and probably unintentionally also met their untimely demise up there. Last time I was up there, there was a chain link fence so as to discourage such things. The railroad tracks are gone, the old bridge was taken down before it fell down, and a new modern bridge created farther upstream. The tallest building in Hannibal, the old Grain Elevator was demolished. Although they were useless I kind of miss those things. Lovers Leap is still a great place to admire the river, the town below you, and the Illinois bottom land across the river.

Now is the time for Christmas

Now is the time for Christmas
As I live down on the isthmus
It surely is some big ass bisthmus
Round about this time of year.

One third my life is spent in bed
Chasing elusive things in my head
I should be up and freely spending
The contents of my wallet and plastic bending
Then wrapping it up and sending
Toward this penultimate ending
Spending of the fiscal year.
While your fan club gives a rending
always somebody offending, holiday cheer.

Hating as I do all this detritis
January bills will come back to bite us
If we first don't die of appendicitis
Or date a Greek named Encephalitis.

One twelfth of your life is spent in December
As you are so loath to repent, remember
Cold it is and dark and inner
And you are just another sinner
Sent to bed without your dinner
Hoping maybe this will make you thinner.

Viagra won't help with resurrection
Or give your sorry life direction
In this festive tortured vivisection
That we call this time of year

Now we have these halls to deck
(At least we have many friends in heck)
Be sure to send that charity a check.
Now we have these bells to jingle
As we anticipate Kris Kringle
Or was this red suited Nick a saint?
Considering the havoc created? No he ain't
Or maybe he was Santa Claus?
(I'm so confused, and don't
remember rightly who he was.)

Visiting the graves of some poor dead Uckers
Preferring dead to living motherf-----rs
All this merriment sure does one tucker

For the old one I won't shed a tear
Even if the new one is very queer.
Sleep will I to the brand new year.
And drink my last four cans of beer.