Don't Uninstall my Heart

Baby, Baby, don't uninstall my heart.
Please don't delete me then restart.
I don't think that we can run apart.
Baby, Baby, don't uninstall my heart.

When I met you by the satellite dish
You were the log-on to my every wish.
You were the perfect binary code
Your love for me I didn't have to goad.

You said that I was user friendly
And you said that you were plug and play.
We didn't need no chaperone
We didn't need no drivers.

You didn't think my messages were forward,
And you didn't serve me spam.
I used to look so lovingly at you
Through your 24-hour web cam.

At the internet cafe where we sometimes ate
The servers came by to drop down menus
We always double-clicked together
You were my girl and I was your E-male.

But then you said you needed an upgrade
Suddenly, my version was obsolete
You started running with different hardware
Bigger, better, faster. I couldn't compete.

I tried your number to dial up
But you replied that I was DSL
I tried to some interest to rile up
In spreadsheets I sent you in Excel.

Alas your new beau had more ram
And more cache to spend, more loot
"You're drive is soft and floppy," Sam
"Our love no longer does compute."

You broke my heart:
You ripped out my power supply
You took all my memory
You unplugged my cables and
I lost all my drives.
and worst of all,
You said that in sleep mode I snored
And that I, even your mother bored.

Oh woe! Alack! Alas!
Our love has encountered a problem
Our relationship has run out of gas.

Our program is (not responding)
So has to shut down, I guess.
Don't bother sending any message
No one can sort out this digital mess.
:(